Hello Reader,

Thanksgiving is coming up this week here in the ol’ U.S. of A., a holiday that is centered around tons of food, family, and gratitude.

And it’s the first major holiday after our latest presidential election so it’s very possible things may get…awkward…over the dinner table.

Because if your family is anything like mine, there’s always at least one person who wants to talk politics. And it’s not usually a feel-good time when that starts.

I'm allowed to both love and disagree with someone.

Now, if you have the bandwidth to have a discussion with that family member who’s on the opposite political side, go for it, my friend! Good on you—you’re fighting the good fight trying to change hearts and minds.

But when these types of awkward convos come up with my family members, I tend to freeze. I forget all my amazing rehearsed arguments designed to combat their fake news. And then I just end up frustrated with myself for not doing a better job standing up for what I believe in.

But that’s a lot of pressure to put on one interaction during a supposedly fun family holiday! Especially with someone I probably only see twice a year anyway!

So I generally choose not to engage. I have decided that keeping the (relative) peace is more important that winning any arguments or beating myself up for not having the perfect response.

Again, I have a lot of privilege that lets me make this choice. There aren’t any vulnerable people in my immediate family that I should protect. (That I know of, that is. So far. But there are nieces and nephews who may change that equation some day soon!)

I am going to keep a few simple one liners in my back pocket in case I feel confident enough to use them:

• Can you explain it again--I don’t understand?
• But why is that funny, though?
• Hold up, let me get my phone. Could you run through it one more time for the TikTok? (Ok, I know I will never be brave enough to do this one, but it would be an A+ tactic, wouldn’t it??)

It will also be totally fine if I choose to simply remove myself from the situation. As Captain Awkward reminds us (and provides the lines above), I’m not letting the side of justice down if I still want to be around my family, disappointing though their voting choices may be.

So if you’re dreading those weird and sometimes painful conversations over the Thanksgiving table this Thursday, but still want to try to enjoy your family, remind yourself 21x/day:

I'm allowed to both love and disagree with someone.

(P.S. Captain Awkward is the queen of handling awkward conversations and interactions. Highly recommend checking her writing out! I borrow the phrase “return awkwardness to sender” from her!)